How to Spot the Jerk and Finally Get Your Man!

How to Know if a Guy you like is a Player!

I was a late bloomer to relationships and was always afraid of meeting guys who were out to know good. I've seen people in and out of relationships, getting hurt by the same man, and being set back by having kids or married with that same man. They feel helpless, crying every night, not happy, maybe even scared and I refused to allow myself to be a part of such a tumultuous relationship! However, I've had some jerks in my day!

We don't devote enough time to finding a cure for Jerk...but we should!

First off before we can find the right guy, trust me someone is out there that's right for you, we first need to know how to spot a jerk. I've had plenty of these in my lifetime and I'm sure you have too! Lets Dive right in....

The first cue of a Jerk Undercover
His Social Media! 
*If he is always talking to a girl, always in a "relationship," or he is in a relationship now
*Always out partying, seems like he doesn't even have a job but claim he making that bank!
*Always sharing half-naked girls on his timeline...uh time to block him!
*Then he shoots you a message or dm's you....

2nd cue of a Jerk Undercover
Asking you out!
*If he text you to meet him at his house or he's always at yours, but never want to go anywhere with you.
*If he text to meet you between 7pm-12am and/or beyond that time
*If he's not trying to pay for you, claims he doesn't have any money(but he making that bank tho)
*Tries to make-out with you or do more on the 1st date...

3rd  cue of a Jerk Undercover
He's just not that interested in you!
*He doesn't call you back until hours afterwards. 
*He calls you late in the night to "hang out" -__-
*He doesn't listen to what you want...its all about him, sweetheart.
*He's always late and when he gets to your house he blows the bet not go out there, ladies!

4th cue of a Jerk Undercover
The Talk!
*He doesn't give you a title..cue Meghan Trainor's song "Title"
*He doesn't want to be in a relationship...chances are he is already in one or he doesn't want to be in one with YOU!
*He thinks yall are just fooling around, uhhh who said that...

These 4 cues are meant to help you before you even get in the relationship. If any of these actions are your man...I think it's time hit the road Jack OR at least check out what your relationship is all about ;)

Now to finding the right man

1. You need to know what you want and what you don't want: This is soooo IMPORTANT! If you are the type to stay in a relationship you never have the chance to understand what's most important to YOU. I've learned what I wanted because I'm the type to stay out of a relationship until I'm fully ready. I'm not willing to settle for less than what I deserved...this also includes rejections! (Didn't see my last post check it out here)

2.Sometimes you need to stop following your heart: Our hearts are naive to love. Our hearts want love no matter how bad or crazy it is! That's when you need to follow God, your higher source. Ask God to help you open up your eyes to see the right guy AND the right time. We tend to just want someone right away but we need to understand finding the right guy involves being apart of the right timing...God's timing!  Continue to pray even after you say you met the "right guy" tell God to help you see what is right and what is wrong. Chances are God will show you right away!

3.Let that man show you some respect: If he is not opening doors for you, walking on the side where the traffic is on, or warming you up when you are cold then these little actions show's you how much he respects you. Make it known to the man that you deserve more respect. If he is not willing to do that then its time to let him back into that ocean...bye bye fishy! If a guy is showing you respect and more praise him for it, let him know that you appreciate it.

"And now I gotta move upstream to find the man of my dreams"
4.If he is a jerk while dating you then he will be a jerk when you get married: If he's not making an effort to show the kinda love you deserve then what makes you think getting married or even having a baby is going to change him...uh uh not going to happen. 

5.Don't change him: We women are always going for the bad boy saying "oh I can change him." We are not going to raise a boy into a man that's his job. Know this women...WE ARE NOT FIXER UPPERS!

6.If he's not trying to change...then he is not trying in the relationship: If he's not trying to grow, become wiser, and better his life, you CAN NOT grow with him! If you are very religious and this guy is not and is not trying to grow closer to God let him go! Both of you can't grow together with God if one of you is lacking the faith.

7.NO Guy is Perfect: Yes this is very true but by spotting these jerk traits in guys you can rat out the ones that are just not worth your time...nor your tears. Neither woman nor man is perfect but if you and the man is trying to improve oneself then you're relationship could work out! A relationship grows when both of you are TRYING! 

Remember the only way to find the right guy is by finding who you are! 

Have you dated a Jerk, dating one now, or found your Mr. Right? How did you know you found Mr. Right?

how to spot a jerk


  1. Ooo what interesting tips. I have definitely been dealing with a jerk the past couple of years, and am I happy that I finally stopped listening to my heart. I like this series and you raise some interesting points. I'm glad I stumbled across your blog x

    Ornella @ EUHNELLA

    1. I'm glad you stumbled on my blog as well haha and living me your blog too now I can come see the face behind the awesome comments! Thank you I'm so glad you got some great tips from my post. Yes our hearts can really get in the way and make us quite blind if I may so myself lol! I'm glad you like my series I'm having a fun time creating them :)

  2. Some great tips! I'm already doing pretty well at staying away from those jerks! :P

  3. This article could be easily found in a magazine! your writting skills are magnificent!:) <3
    I don't usualy meet "the jerk" but when I do , I make sure he is THE BIGGEST ONE of all :p

    1. Awww this really means a lot! Hopefully one day it will be ;) Haha thats always good I need to live where you live then haha Thanks so much for reading and I'm glad you like my writing style :)

  4. This was amazing read and a must for all single ladies out there. Great advice I wish some friends would listen too!


  5. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

    Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

    And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

    Thanks again.